Amnesia
by BlackOcean96
Summary: "You don't choose who you fall in love with ." Emily , she tries to run the other way but the universe somehow has its on way ... J.J , she seems to got her life organized and is married to an amazing man . But what if the universe throws her another chance of starting it all over again ? Is her past is what she needs when everything she dreams of is now right in front of her ?


**A/N : Hey , guys . This is my first time entering Criminal Minds's fanfic . I am more of Calzona writer but the chemistry J.J and Emily have for each other is hands down , one of the best I have seen on TV . This , writing a fanfic about them is like one of among other things I have in my bucket list that I must do . Yeah , I know J.J is married to Will but the producers are to blame lol , they made as if Emily was mad when J.J kissed Will in that one episode xD . I know that Jemily's fan base isn't as huge as other ship , so I am taking a risk here of writing about them . I don't even know if I will continue with this one or it will only just be a one shot . About the storyline , you might get a little confuse as I am not following their cannon . There's something I changed here and then so it slightly differs from the show itself . Please be reminded , English isn't my first language . This story focused more on J.J relationship with Emily Prentiss . So the BAU Team and their works will be less mentioned in this story .**

* * *

"I can't do this ." Will got up from his seat . "God , I can't do this anymore ." He groaned as he added those words while he rubbed his face with both of his hands , looking really stressed out .

The small blonde just looked at the man who was standing before her emptily , not understood why the man suddenly got so frustrated .

Emily said that the southern man with a unique sleepy eyes was in fact her husband . But she didn't remember any memories of being married to that man , called Will .

 _William LaMontagne Jr. ._

 _He was quite a good looking man ._

 _A brilliant detective at the New Orleans Police Department ._

 _A well mannered man . A gentleman ._

But maybe he wasn't really that gentle tonight . With the scowl he was now wearing on his face and the soothing voice that he had always use when visiting her wife here in Quantico was nowhere to be found .

"Jennifer Jareau , you are my wife ..." Will began speaking after calming himself down for a few minutes . "Don't you even remember me or anything about us , not even a slightest bit ?"

From her seat , J.J looked up to that moment , staring into his eyes before she slowly shook her head . "I don't know who you are , I am sorry ."

"Since last year , I've been flying in and out . And you still remember nothing about me . Or even about yourself ." Will sighed . "I don't know how much longer I can wait for you ."

"I have never asked you to wait for me . You can go , Mr. LaMontagne ."

"Are you asking me to leave you ? Is that what you ask me to do now ?" Will started to raise his voice again . "We took vows . I have obligations to take care of you ! Even if I wanted to leave you , I can't ."

"I will not blame you if you break the vows that I can't remember taking it with you ." J.J shot back . "The thing is William , we are both suffering when we both have the choice to live happily . Why makes life complicated ?"

Will stood there , staring at his wife . The wife that he had share bed with for almost three years now . Yes , they hadn't share the bed so oftenly because of the commitment of work but their marriage never seemed to have any major trouble . Sure , they fought here and there , no marriage could get pass the fighting part , right ? But it was never a big fight . They could fight at night and made up the next day .

They got married because both of them fell in love and felt the sudden connection between them or was it ...?

It was love at the first sight . Jennifer was magnificent , that was what Will felt when he said hello for the first time to J.J . His eyes were glued on that blonde when Hotch introduced J.J to him when BAU arrived at his office to investigate a case when multiple murders did by one same unsub happened in his city .

Will's head got back to reality when he heard the clinking sound of glasses as J.J took a sip of the clear water .

"J.J ..." He knelt down in front of the blue eyes blonde . "Come home with me tonight ? We will sort everything back there and I'd get both of my eyes on you while doing so . We will both be near to each other ."

"No ." J.J refused to that one question again . The question Will would always asked her after every visits .

"Why not ? There's nothing here ." Will rubbed his face , the uncertainty of their marriage was killing him slowly everyday .

"Emily's here ." J.J said in defensive tone . "And I need space . I can't live with someone that I don't really know ."

"You lost all of your memories after the damn abduction ! And that includes the memories of you Emily and all the other members of the BAU team ! I just don't get it why you are so comfortable living with Emily and not with your husband !"

"Because she was there when I first opened my eyes in pain at that hospital ! She held my hand before you came . She .. She is my only close friend ! I trust her ."

"And you don't trust me ?" Will asked with his disbelief face .

"I don't feel like I have lived with you before the abduction thing happened . Heck , I don't even remember myself of being abducted . I only remembered the pain it costed me ." J.J replied , sighing . "Will , can you .. please leave ? I am tired of fighting with you all over again regarding this same thing ."

"Alright then . And you know what ? I am also tired and maybe this will be my last visit . Goodbye , Jennifer ." Will grabbed his coat angrily , storming out of the dining area of Emily's house

And almost at the same , Emily arrived at her house . Opening the door , she witnessed Will walking over to the front door in silence . He look pretty much disturbed and upset .

"Will ? Everything's okay ? Where's J.J ?" Emily asked , concerned . She knew that Will was visiting and would had dinner with J.J tonight at her place . But she never expected the dinner would be over this quick . Even before she entered her house , her mind was already planning to avoid the kitchen and dining area as she didn't want to disturb the wife and husband .

Or maybe she simply didn't want her eyes catching the Southern detective staring at the blonde too sweetly . It would just made her roll her eyes , annoyed .

Emily cursed herself silently . Why would she be annoyed ? She should be happy if her best friend was happy , right ? After all , they were both husband and wife . And they belong together , William LaMontagne Jr. and Jennifer Jareau .

"She doesn't want to have anything to do with me , Emily ." Will finally broke down in front of her wife's best friend .

Emily was unsure of what she should do or say . Will had always been strong after that tragedy hit J.J that also left a huge impact on his life . He spent his every weekends here at Emily's house , just fifteen minutes away from Quantico office , in order to made sure J.J felt their connection again . He flew in and out just for her .. Well , he didn't have to do so if only J.J could let her guard down and followed her husband to New Orleans , letting him take care of her .

But Emily couldn't lie to herself that she wouldn't be sad if one day , J.J finally chose to live with her husband . She liked having the blonde here in her house . The only good thing that came out from the amnesia was the blonde had been more perky , cheerful and optimistic than before . Sometimes J.J cheered Emily up when that older brunette came home after having to dealt with a tough case . It must be the perks of being an innocence civilian that didn't have to see five different dead bodies in one week .

Emily loved having J.J here . She didn't feel like the blonde was a problem that she had forced to take care of . Some people would say that J.J should be Will's problem or that Emily didn't have to be too generous to let the blonde stay with her but that some people knew nothing . They knew nothing about the butterflies feeling J.J gave to her . And that butterflies ? They had been flying everywhere in her stomach even before J.J had the amnesia .

Especially whenever J.J smiled at her while just simply passing by her desk , it instantly stirred up the butterflies . And to had J.J making her smile and laugh everytime she came back from work ? That was a true meaning of happiness . She had never been this happy . And J.J wasn't a burden like everybody else said .

She just simply didn't feel that empty feeling with J.J living with her . But if the emptiness had stop disturbing the brunette , it meant underneath all the positive things currently happened in her life ... there was another person that suffered in this situation .

And that person was standing right in front of her . No wonder Emily didn't know what to say or how to offered that man a genuine sympathy .

"I feel stucked . I feel like I will never get her back . The old her , it's gone ." Will leaned against the wall in defeat .

"Give her time , Will . She will remember you , me and everyone that she knew before this , I know she will ."

"It's been a year , Emily ."

"Then , give her more times . She deserves that from you . You are her husband ."

"Am I ?" Will scoffed . "I don't think I will come back after tonight . So , Emily .. can you do me a favor of taking care of her ? She trusts you more than me ."

"Will , what are you talking about ?" Emily's forehead furrowed .

"I'd better get going ." Will pulled the door knob .

"You are talking nonsense . Just get some sleep and come back here in the morning after you get your head cleared ." Emily blocked the way in attempt to stopped Will from actually executing the stupid idea he had in his mind .

"You don't know how much it hurts to see her like that , Emily !" Will shouted . "My marriage is crumbling and everybody knows it , I will just have to learn accepting it . And it might as well be now ."

"Really , Will ? J.J needs all the support she can get right now ." Emily said as she shook her head . "If you really are leaving now , you better don't come back when she regains her memories . If you can't man enough to be with her during her worst , then you don't deserve her during her best ."

" _IF_ she regains her memories ." Will corrected the brunette agent before he finally walked away without even looking back .

Emily watched as Will left her front porch with her mouth agape in shocked .

"Let him walk away , Emily ." J.J said , leaning against the kitchen doorway . "Just , let him go ."

"Oh , J.J ..." Emily closed the front door , sighing . She wanted to say more to her best friend , maybe talked some sense into her because from what she saw , Will may not came back and the blonde just seemed to be fine with it when she supposedly shouldn't but then Sergio suddenly jumped out of nowhere .

Sergio meowed , circling around Emily's ankles . The black cat probably seeking a loving attention from its owner .

"Serg .. Are you hungry , buddy ? I've got your favourite brand of wet food topped up ." Emily dropped her sling bag on the floor before bending her body down to catch Sergio , bringing the cat with her into the living room . "How are you , today ? Miss me ?"

The brunette began her routine of speaking to the cat as if it could understand , in which J.J found adorable .

"I feed him half an hour ago ." J.J informed , taking the seat next to Emily .

"And how are you today ?" Emily asked , concerned .

"I'm alright . I watched the grand finale of MasterChef and I cleaned up the living room , your room ."

"I can clean up my own room , J.J . But , thanks anyway ."

"You always worked till late nowadays even when there was no case . I figured .. maybe I can help with cleaning up your room , do the laundry ." J.J shrugged . "And then you got up super early to go to work lately . To the point I have missed you .. Almost everyday ." J.J added in a slow voice .

Emily had her eyes on Sergio , her hand was rubbing Sergio's lower neck but as she heard the last two sentence J.J just spoke out , her eyes immediately snapped wide toward the blonde . Emily stared into J.J's , trying to catch any hint or clue with what J.J just said .. or simply just wanting to hear those words came out from the petite blonde again , to made sure if she wasn't hearing nonsense .

And there it was ... the awkward silence between the two women but still , Emily failed to read the other woman's mind with the precious 5 seconds of staring she just had . Emily Prentiss without a doubt was a good profiler but when it came to profiling J.J , she seemed to have a little trouble with it . Even before the other woman lost her memories , Emily found it hard to read the blonde's mind when it came to certain stuffs . Stuffs that involved hearts .

Hell , she found it hard for herself to understand it too . Between what was what she supposed to do and what she actually wanted to do .

 _Meow_

Sergio meowed , breaking Emily's gaze as she awkwardly turned her attention to her lovely cat . "Oh , you wanted to chat with me too ?" Emily brought the cat on her laps , using Sergio as a shield as she felt like J.J eyes still trained on her .

Emily discreetly checked if J.J was still looking at her without directly staring at her and J.J glanced at her almost at the same time .

She was caught red handed but Emily just decided to act nonchalant .

"What ?" Emily rolled her eyes , was it just her or there was something denifitely going on right here and right now ?

"Nothing ." J.J smirked at Emily's awkward response . "Are you hungry ?"

"A little bit hungry here ." Emily replied too eagerly . "Or maybe a lot ..?" Emily quickly added and a beautiful laugh of the blonde followed soon after that .

"Well , Will and I hadn't even touch our food yet just now . Would you like to finish them ?"

"Only if you join me . I hate eating alone ." Emily stated blatantly . That was new , was it ? Ever since she was a child , with her mother busy job of being an ambassador , moving all around the world , she had no problem eating alone . She was a loner , you could say . But for almost the last 12 months , she couldn't say the same anymore . J.J's presence in her house somehow changed certain things in her life . Emily quickly snapped out from her own deep thoughts . "But first , I am going to take a quick shower ."

"I will heat up and get the food ready then ."

* * *

Emily got into her room and began undressed as her mind got back to what happened earlier . Did she hear things correctly ? Or was her mind just imagining things , thus making her hearing things ? Emily sighed as she entered the bathroom .

As she let the water from the shower ran through her body , her mind started to wander again ...

Jennifer Jareau .. The thing , if there was really a thing .. between the two of them had remained unclear . It was always a gray area , at least that was what Emily thought . Neither one of them or anybody around them had validate their relationship , no I love yous or something similar like that before JJ was kidnapped . But .. No , wait , somebody did smell something . It was Reid , the genius one in the team . He asked Emily once what was it between her and J.J with all of the blushes , affectionate harmless touches and stolen glances which she tried her best from giving a direct answer . The real answer , though .. Emily was actually attracted to her own co workers . But months after Reid blurted out that question , Will happened and suddenly J.J were dating him . So the question just stopped there .

There were a few times actually when Emily thought of confronting J.J about the stolen looks between of them but just like Reid's out of nowhere question , Emily cancelled the idea after finding out about J.J and Will .

 _To the point I have missed you ._

 _I have missed you ._

 _I have missed you ._

 _Almost everyday ._

Emily closed her eyes as she let the cold water ran on her naked body . _I have missed you ?_ _Missed as missing me emotionally ? Or missed me as in , not bumped into each other before I went to work ?_

Emily sighed , this whole gray area thing would definitely gave her an ulcer . Grabbing her towel , Emily tried not overthink about it . She quickly got dressed into her track bottom and a navy blue tank top , not wanting to keep J.J waited for too long downstairs .

* * *

"J.J ?" Emily called when she stepped into the kitchen .

"Back here !"

"Ahh , here ." Emily arched her eyebrows when she saw J.J almost finished setting up their reheat dinner at the backyard patio . It was very rare for both of them to eat their dinner outside here . "Why here ?"

"It's been a hell of a week for you and I thought a little scenic view while having dinner tonight could do you a justice . Sit down , Princess ." J.J sat , eyeing down toward the wooden bench .

"Wait , what did you just call me ?" Emily asked instantly when she heard J.J calling her princess .

"Princess ? Why ?"

"Morgan ." Emily's eyes lit up . "Derek , he calls me like that sometimes . You remember ?"

"Oh ." J.J let out an empty respond .

"It's a progress and it's good ."

"I just said it because because I wanted to , it wasn't like there was an old happy sunshine moment of memory suddenly flashed into my brain before I said 'princess' . It is not even an uncommon nickname , how come that is called progress ?" J.J said .

Emily stared down on her plate as she began eating her dinner in silent .

"Sorry , I didn't mean to offended you ." J.J tapped the back of the brunette palm . "I don't want you or anyone else get their hopes up . Because I know that I will let you all down . Look how it turned out with Will . He left tonight with disappointment . I don't want you to feel the same thing too , getting your hopes high up . And then feel disappointed in me , eventually you will leave me . Just like Will did ."

"J.J , I ain't going to leave you . As long as I am still alive , you don't have to worry about anything . Just give Will a little time to cool down ." Emily gave a genuine smile , squeezing the blonde hand from across the table .

"Promise me you won't ?" J.J held the spoon up , but she just had to know the answer first before putting the food into her mouth . She needed the assurance .

"I promise . If Will really leaves you , I will take care of you . But I don't buy it that he's leaving . He loves you too much ." Emily shook her head . "He will come around ."

"He's in love with me before the amnesia , not in the after . It's different ." J.J put down her fork . "Is it weird that I don't want him to come back ?"

"He's your husband , J.J . You both were really suitable for each other and you and him already even planned to raise a child together before Hastings and Askari got you . You both were ready to have a child after two years of just the two of you ." Emily took a deep breath . Damn hard to convinced another person that she used to be in love with this one man when you too , actually had a feeling on this woman . "But now .. I can see that you are not even trying to get to know this man again .

"Because I don't feel the bond , Emily !" J.J raised her voice a little before she cleared voice back to the normal pitch . "Can we please not talk about this ? He's gone , it's not a problem now . I will deal with it when I reach the bridge . I just want to focus on what's in front of me now . Step by step ."

Emily stared deep into the blue eyes for a while before she ended up giving J.J a forced smile . Continuing chewing on her food , she found the taste of the food had turned bitter .

 _No , I can't not talking about this . I am part of this mess . J.J should be clinging on her husband but instead she clings on me . It's my fault . A mistake I made back then when I let a traumatized patient made her first contact with me instead of letting the professional doctors dealt with the situation , making her quickly attached to me . And therefore making her feels like I am the only person that she could trust_.

Emily knew she just had to fix this . "J.J , the whole team has a day off tomorrow including me . You are up to do a little visit to a few places with me ?"

"I would love too !" J.J quickly agreed . It had been a week since the last time the brunette took her out , of course she was up for it . "What time do I need to wake up tomorrow ?"

* * *

 **Reviews are welcomed : )**

 _Friday_

 _5th October 2018_

 _0000hrs_


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